Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins - Week 4

Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins - Week 4
The Phinsider The Phinsider

saturnine (adj) - causing or marked by an atmosphere lacking in cheer

You know me by now. I type a bunch of words. I list five things.

So it goes.

Today, I don’t have notes or a rough draft to build a nice meaty article from.

And I have just one thing because it’s the only thing:

It’s 2024 and the Dolphins are still the same

Primetime implosion against what should be an inferior team? Chet Ubetcha.

“But we had a new QB!” a completely non-existent defender cries into a 3⁄4 empty bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

So did the Titans, dusting off Mason Rudolph and running their offense just as well as when he was behind an old trunk in the attic. I’m not even going to bring up the game recap to fact-check anything, but I know Tennessee scored over 30 points. And Miami scored fewer.

Jalen Ramsey played well. He should; he’s worth a trillion dollars.

Storm Duck played well.

That’s nice. He seems cool.

I assume Tyreek Hill was looking for his contacts when he dropped a backwards pass and let the Titans pick it up for a free turnover. Or maybe he was counting his money.

Jaylen Waddle looked like a WR3 and we all know how Miami’s WR3’s look, so that’s saying something. Something disappointing.

Jaelan Phillips is hurt. Probably because he came back from a torn Achilles tendon in eight months to make sure he didn’t miss being part of an historic meltdown.

They have so many Jalens.

The offensive line is a weakness, the tight ends are nonexistent, the linebackers scare no one, the playcalling rarely matches the players or the situation: stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

Chris Grier has been with the team for a really long time. He’s had some good draft picks. He’s made some good trades. He’s had lots of bad draft picks. And he keeps making the same mistakes repeatedly. They should probably let someone else try.

Mike McDaniel started hot, but he hasn’t evolved his playbook. He hasn’t figured out how to leverage what he has. The team isn’t all bad. There’s talent floating around. Some of it’s old and expensive, sure, but it’s there. Even if it doesn’t really want to try much anymore, now that’s it’s so deep into the season (AKA, Week 4), it’s still around. Roll the quarterback out. Throw a slant. When you need 2 yards, don’t pitch it back 3 more to start the play. If it’s 3rd and 7, don’t design the play to go 3 yards. Do math. 3 < 7. Throw past the line of scrimmage sometimes. Let Jeff Wilson take some inside carries so De’Von Achane doesn’t get hurt. I’m not a coach, Mike, but do the basic stuff, bud. I’m not sure if he’s eye deep in analytics or what, but there are no adjustments being made in response to the game happening in front of him. The offense was painfully...