In last week’s broadcast, Chris Myers, the commentator voted most likely to sound like an exaggerated cartoon character, said something along the lines of “the team with the #1 defense at the end of the season has never failed to make the playoffs…” /paraphrase

While this may/may not be true, it’s hard to recall a team with such polar opposites when it comes to defense and offense.

• Houston’s defense: #1 in Yards/Game with 258.1
• Houston’s offense: 19th in Yards/Game with 329.6
• Houston’s defense: #1 in Points/Game with 16.3
• Houston’s offense: 24th in Points/Game with 22.0

Per...

The Houston Texans have won their last two games with backup quarterback Davis Mills under center, and they’re looking to keep that momentum rolling at home against the Buffalo Bills.

The last time these teams met was a season ago — a game that ended up being one of the worst performances of Josh Allen’s career. If Houston wants to stay competitive on Sunday, they’ll need a similar outing from Allen, and with the way this defense is playing, that’s absolutely on the table.

Starting quarterback C.J. Stroud is set to miss another game after suffering a concussion against the...

The Houston Texans hit the accelerator on their drive to make the playoffs when they host the 7-3 Buffalo Bills on Thursday Night Football. The Bills bounced back from their worst loss of the year against the 3-7 Miami Dolphins with a commanding win over the NFC South-leading Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Bills hold the first AFC Wild Card spot, while the Texans are the first team out of the playoffs. This game has major playoff implications. For Houston, a win here keeps them in contention for a Wild Card spot and in line with the Chiefs and Ravens. For...

The Day After the Day After…when the raw, immediate emotions from the aftermath of a game diminish into the realm of clarity and the proverbial (or literal) hangover no longer haunts the mind. With that, a review of Week 11:

Sometimes, rookies play like rookies: This season, Houston has relied on its rookies to help carry the squad, especially on offense. However, there were moments on Sunday when you learn that rookies will act like rookies, even as the most inopportune times. In the 1st half, rookies Woody Marks and Aireontae Ersery showed that for all of the progress they’ve...

Tonight’s MNF matchup is a matchup of two underwhelming teams that the league, for reasons all their own, insist on inflicting on America. Maybe a squirrel got loose in the scheduling computer? Maybe millions of people have made the poor life decision of being a Cowboy fan. Whatever reason it is, and I’m sure it’s a dumb one, we’re saddled with yet another Cowboys game.

Oh boy.

Anyway, here’s what you need to know to watch/listen to/stream tonight’s game:

Who: “Dallas” Cowboys (3-5-1) at Las Vegas Raiders (2-7)

What: Monday Night Football

Where: Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, NV

When: Monday,...

This always takes on a different tone than the recap. The recap reflects the emotions of the moment. When you win a game 16-13 on a walk off field goal there are bound to be a number of emotions. The Value of Things is always about analyzing the data to see if we notice any trends. We also look at the great, good, and bad in wins and the good, bad, and ugly in losses.

Teams can always improve even when they are coming off a victory. That is particularly true when facing the worst team in football. When we...

Have you recovered from the dumbness that was today’s Texans/BESFs game yet? No? Too bad because we still have more football tonight. And this might even be a good game! It’s an NFC matchup that could potentially be an NFCCG preview.

Here’s what you need to know to watch tonight’s game:

Who: Detroit Lions (6-3) at Philadelphia Eagles (7-2)

What: Sunday Night Football

Where: Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, PA

When: Sunday, November 16, 7:20 p.m. CST

Why: Because who knows what hilarious and potentially legally actionable antics Eagles fans might get into.

TV: NBC, Universo

Radio: Westwood One

Streaming: Fubo*,...

The final score will say the Houston Texans won a close game over the Tennessee Titans 16-13. If you watched nothing but the last two minutes you will be forgiven if you wanted to canonize Davis Mills. After all, Mills led another go ahead scoring drive late in the game. It would seem like all is good in Houston as they finally get back to the .500 mark following an 0-3 start.

Sure, there were lots of things to like about this performance. The defense showed up for a majority of the game and dominated the Titans offense. Much like...

Did the Texans game leave a bad taste in your mouth? Well not all football is gonna be that bad. Have some late afternoon football to act as a palate cleanser.

Anyway, the maps.

CBS LATE GAMES

Red: Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos (Announcers: Jim Nantz, Tony Romo; Referee: Adrian Hill)
Blue: Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns (Announcers: Andrew Catalon, Charles Davis, Jason McCourty; Referee: Land Clark)

FOX SINGLE GAMES

Red: EARLY GAME
Blue: EARLY GAME
Yellow: EARLY GAME
Light Blue: EARLY GAME
Dark Blue: Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (Announcers: Joe Davis, Greg Olsen; Referee: John Hussey)...

Hate week? Hate week. HATE WEEK!

Yep, it’s time for the Texans’ annual pilgrimage to that most unholy of lands, Nashville, Tennessee. Or, as it is known in traditional BRB parlance: Methopotamia.

No Stroud, no Fairbairn this week, but hopefully playing against the BESFs will mitigate those losses enough that the Texans come out with the win.

Here’s what you need to know to watch/listen to/stream today’s game:

Who: Houston Texans (4-5) at Tennessee BESFs (1-8)

What: Week 11 of the NFL season

Where: Nissan Stadium, Nashville, TN

When: Sunday, November 16, 12:00 p.m. CST

Why: Because:

TV: Fox

Radio:...

The bad news is that we’ll still be without QB C.J. Stroud and K Ka’imi Fairbairn, so we’ll have to expect Davis Mills et al to be the offense tomorrow.

The good news is the Texans play Tennessee tomorrow, so if there was going to be any game where you could theoretically go without your starting quarterback, this is the game to do it.

But will you be able to watch at home? Let’s see what 506 Sports has to say.

FOX SINGLE GAMES

Red: Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings (Announcers: Kevin Burkhardt, Tom Brady; Referee: Brad Rogers)
Green: Green...

Right now, the Texans’ season sits on a knife’s edge. At 4-5, they sit on the outside looking in for the playoffs. Victories need to get banked, the more the merrier. Yet, Houston faces one of the roughest schedules in the league to close out the year. Over their last 8 games, they have to face the Colts (twice), the Bills (at home), the Chiefs (on the road) and the Chargers (on the road). They do get the Raiders (home), Cardinals (home) and the Titans (away), which is their next game. To say that the Titans game is a must-win...