Battle Red Blog
Cornelius Bumfuzzle joins BRB for five Cowboys questions.
Author’s note: What follows is an interview with a composite Cowboys fan. No actual Cornelius Bumfuzzle exists and any likeness to any fan or anyone actually named Bumfuzzle is coincidental.
Cowboys fans are their own special breed. Having gone to college with these folks I managed to get some insight into the psyche of the typical rabid Cowboys fan. I managed to catch up with a legend among their ranks in local legend Cornelius Bumfuzzle. Rumor has it he was affectionately known as UBF (unusually boisterous fan) according to the Fort Worth Star Telegram. The questions began with the most important position on the field.
Battle Red Blog: Less than one year into his new contract, Dak Prescott is reportedly out for the season. How are the Cowboys fans feeling about the contract now?
Cornelius Bumfuzzle: Dude, we absolutely are down with that deal. Jerry said he was all in and nothing says you are all in like paying your quarterback at least ten million more per season than what you could have in March. It was genius dude. Jerry was testing his resolve. A lesser player would complain to the press or ask to be traded, but Dak was a man and we love him for it. He led the league last season in completion percentage for most of the season and arguably was the regular season MVP. Sure, he has lost a few playoff games. Even Patrick Mahomes loses in the postseason sometimes. For my money he is the best quarterback in the NFL.
BRB: The Cowboys also made CeeDee Lamb one of the highest paid non-quarterbacks in the NFL. How are you feeling about that deal?
CB: Man, Jerry and Stephen Jones are playing multi-dimensional chess with these contracts. Allowing guys like Justin Jefferson, Nico Collins, and A.J. Brown to sign their deals is genius man. Let them set the market then you can reward your guy with those extra few million dollars. We’re the Cowboys. We pay our guys a little more than everyone else. That’s just how we roll. Salary cap? To hell with that. We’ll just stack all of those picks and every inexpensive free agent will want to come here. Derrick Henry? We don’t need a money grubbing back that will lead the league in rushing on our team. Give us the underdog that’s just happy to be a Cowboy.
BRB: Speaking of running backs, the Cowboys are 31st in rushing yards and yards per attempt, did the Cowboys brass make a tactical error when they didn’t add a more established back?
CB: A more established back? Come on fam, you don’t get more established than Zeke Elliott. He is just hanging around until he gets into Canton. I know what the naysayers say, his yards per attempt have gone down every year of his career. Sure, he sucked last year in New England, but who’s going to be good in that dumpster fire of...
