Field Gulls
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: THIS GAME AND ALL ITS PREDECESSORS ARE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. THE BEST TIME TO STOP WATCHING SEAHAWKS-CARDINALS WAS YESTERDAY, AND THE SECOND-BEST TIME IS NOW.
The Seattle Seahawks and the Arizona Cardinals. What do they have against us? If you’re a neutral observer, this game took hours off your life. If you’re a casual fan of either team, weeks, maybe months. Could be years, if you’re the kind of deranged idiot up reading this column first thing on a sunny fall morning.
Seattle’s win, its eighth consecutive over Arizona, should’ve been easier, because it felt cushy and predictable for three quarters, featuring stop after resounding stop of a timid offense. Large men in tortilla-ass uniforms were muzzled snap after snap by a marauding defense that looked fresher than the calendar would suggest.
But nothing’s ever been easy in Glendale. Sure, there are hiccups of pleasantry and gratification, but the ghosts of [gestures at everything since February 2015] stand ready to jump scare Seahawks fans at any second, flipping treat to trick at the most unsuspecting time.
Yes it’s Halloween already. Doesn’t it seem like the 2025 Hawks are setting us up for a spooky season? Great opportunity to get your decorations up this weekend, too, because you won’t have to mainline the game thread between 1:00 and 5:00 p.m. Aside: is there anything better than watching a full slate of Sunday games with a Thursday win in the bag?
Back to how that sense of false security. At 7-3, after A.J. Barner jogged into the end zone, Seattle felt more in control than the score indicated. A touchdown looked impossible for the Arizona offense. The field might as well have been 200 yards long. Kyler Murrary got the jitters and started throwing picks. At 17-6, the Seahawks threatened us with a good time, teasing us into believing they’d gift us another tidy, stress-free evening. At 20-6, the lead felt insurmountable; settling for a Jason Myers FG at 7:03 seemed a pesky footnote to one more romp. Much like Week 3, when the Hawks cannonized the Saints 44-13. (Spelling is correct.)
The Seahawks defensive line lived in Murray’s back yard for the first three quarters, ignoring the Cardinals’ excuse for pass pro to stack up six sacks and force a dozen rushed throws. Murray aimed one pass directly into Coby Bryant’s hands (Author’s note: we should’ve known when he fumbled the return) and another caromed off fingerless Marvin Harrison to the soft paws of Ernest Jones IV, who now has two takeaways in four games. Julian Love overran another sure interception and had it bounce off his arm.
The first 90 percent of game play was a total mismatch, objectively. On their first nine defensive drives, the Seahawks allowed a total of 138 yards and ten first downs, two by penalty. Of Arizona’s first 40 plays, the longest went for 17 yards.
It was a beakdown.
Resorting to trickery did the Cards no good. This flea...
