Bleeding Green Nation
What a ride
Calling coaching searches a “carousel” has always been an odd metaphor. Sure, you get on a carousel, you ride it, then you get off. But that’s not how coach hires work. It’s more like musical chairs, where you better get who you want fast or risk being left with nothing. But if we’re going to use a theme park or carnival ride as a metaphor, a roller coaster is more fitting for this year.
During the beginning of the COVID pandemic we cut the cord to save money. Pluto TV got us through the spring and summer of 2020. My wife became fascinated, in a watching a trainwreck sort of way, with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders channel. Yes, they have their own channel. To this day she still uses it as background noise when working from home.
Through the osmosis of her having it on all the god damn time I have seen way too much of this show. We both agree though that the cheerleader part of the Cowboys are far better run than the football team is. They have higher standards of everything.
Last night the Cowboys Friday news dumped hiring a head coach. Even they know that they made a uninspiring and undeserved hire. Brian Schottenheimer is the Dave Campo of Jason Garretts. This is a spectacularly hilarious move. No one else was going to hire him to be their play caller let alone head coach. In his best seasons Schottenheimer’s offenses have been mediocre. The Cowboys didn’t take my advice, but they hired a former assistant of my recommended candidate. Calling this a partial victory.
Jerry Jones is not beating the allegations that he cares more about making a profit than winning. You hate to see it.
Every so often the NFL has coach search shenanigans that sound like something out of the cutthroat world of college football. Maneuvers in the dark that would make guys like Bobby Petrino, Houston Nutt, or Todd Graham look normal. We even saw Bobby Petrino partake in one episode.
Liam Coen spent two non-consecutive years at Kentucky. It seems he learned the college game quick. Coen turned down the Jaguars because he didn’t want to answer to GM Trent Baalke, owner Shad Khan’s Grima Wormtongue. Fair enough. So then Khan, weeks too late, dumped Baalke. Now Coen was back in play.
Meanwhile the Buccaneers offered Coen a new contract with a massive raise–they were prepared to make him the highest paid offense coordinator in the league. But there was a catch. If he interviewed with the Jaguars again, the deal was off. What did the Bucs think was going to happen? Did they really think a coach who has changed jobs five times in five years and just had the obstacle to him taking a sixth in six removed wasn’t going to pick up the phone? What, are they unironically stupid?
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