Philadelphia’s Four Major Sports Teams Went 1-11 this Past Week

What a week in Philadelphia sports!

It was one of the worst in recent memory. The four major teams won a grand total of one game and only the addition of bang-average Big 5 basketball made the overall record look not-pitiful.

To recap the last seven days, from January 11th January 17th (Sunday to Saturday) –

• The Eagles lost at home to a banged-up 49ers team that was promptly waxed by the Seahawks. We’re gonna chalk it up as two losses, one for what actually happened on the field, and then what happened in Seattle, because the Birds had no business losing to that Niners squad.
• The Flyers lost four games in a row, extending their losing streak to six. Dan Vladar and Rodrigo Abols were injured. Captain Sean Couturier then proclaimed on Saturday that “we suck” after the 6-3 loss to the Rangers.
• The Sixers went 1-3, beating Toronto up in Canada on the second night of a back-to-back. They then lost twice to the Cavs at Xfinity Mobile Arena.
• The Phillies are not even playing, but suffered numerous losses, losing out on Bo Bichette to the Mets and then handing 34-year-old J.T. Realmuto a three-year contract. Ranger Suarez signed with the Red Sox, but he was expected to leave, so we won’t count that one as a loss. Just two losses on Bichette and J.T.
• The Union held a press conference. No wins or losses.
• The Wings lost 10-7 to the Las Vegas Desert Dogs.
• Villanova* went 1-1 with a win against Providence and loss to St. John’s.
• St. Joe’s went 2-0 with wins against Richmond and St. Bonaventure.
• La Salle went 1-1. They were hammered by Richmond and bounced back to take out the Bonnies.
• Temple lost to Memphis.
• Penn beat Dartmouth.
• Drexel beat Monmouth.

It’s 7-15 if you thrown in the other teams outside of the majors, and even then, there hasn’t been much to write home about. The Villanova men and women are both doing pretty well. The rest of the Big 5 is average, as always. The Flyers are in the middle of their annual “lose 10 of 11 games” streak while dealing with injuries. The Sixers have shown some flashes this season but have posted a bunch of clunkers as well. The Phillies look like the new Sixers and the Wings haven’t given anybody anything to cheer about since they came back to Philadelphia.

And yet, the Eagles’ week was somehow the most annoying. Can’t believe they lost to those jokers. Seattle hung 41 points on the Niners, who then whined about injuries after the game. The Eagles mustered 19 on their home field. It’s sickening.

*Villanova is a Philly school. Enough already. They have banners hanging in South Philly and are the only local basketball program to do anything worthwhile since Tyrone Garland hit the Southwest Philly Floater.

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