Headlines across the globe following Chiefs’ Week 8 win over Commanders

Following the Kansas City Chiefs’ dominant 28-7 victory over the Washington Commanders on “Monday Night Football,” Arrowhead Pride user Belohawks scoured the Internet for the most appropriate news headlines.

Chiefs Demote Commanders to Lieutenant Junior Grade

Public non-judicial punishment witnessed by thousands.

Just Another Offensive Manic-Monday

Fans display classic symptoms: racing thoughts, elated mood, grandiosity and little sleep.

More Mature and Less Selfish, Mariota Throws Touchdown Pass to Someone Else

Even in the Halloween season, the backup quarterback now seems less spooky.

Chiefs Cover a Very Nice Spread with Almost Everything on the Menu: Screens, Sweeps and Slants

There have been thousands of positive Yelp reviews.

Turnovers Easy as Taking Jewelry from the Louvre

More heists are planned.

Conic Section: Hyperbola or not, Mahomes Reaches Irrational Numbers!

Going on a tangent here… this joke may run circles and parabolas around many non-Veach fans.

ESPN Showcases 15’s ESP

The number 15 signifies an elevation between physical and spiritual realms, which might explain the quarterback’s extra sensory perception on the playing field.

Hunting Season

Running back is running it back!

New Wrinkles in Offense Frees Up Old Kelce

Tight-end ties franchise regular-season record with a classic performance.

Defensive Coordinator Steve Spagnuolo: What’s the Rush?

Commanders’ ground game grounded on GEHA Field.