Pats Pulpit
Just like we all predicted.
The New England Patriots just went into Buffalo and beat the best team in the AFC in primetime. Everyone definitely saw this one coming.
1. Let’s start this out with some of my patented turd in the punchbowlery and get it out of the way, because these are the kind of wins where you should be maximizing your enjoyment and happiness and not go all Art Smith on New England’s light display.
2. The Bills did themselves no favors last night. Costly turnovers, uninspired playcalling, poor tackling, and overall lousy play, not to mention a whopping 11 penalties for 90 yards. The Bills are a better team than what showed up last night.
3. And if we’re being completely honest, the Bills have kind of underwhelmed thus far this season. 4-0 is 4-0 any way you slice it, but they allowed bad teams to stay in games late and needed a miracle comeback to take down a Ravens team that seemed to be a paper tiger even before they got ravaged by injuries. So no need to pretend that the Bills are some kind of unstoppable powerhouse. They’re a lot better than they played last night, but they aren’t what they used to be.
4. I also think it would be nice if Sam Hochuli’s crew decided, just once, to let two teams play football instead of making it all about them. But that’s just kind of their MO; when Hochuli is calling a game, he’s going to make sure he gets plenty of screen time.
5. I’m not currently in attendance at the rapidly growing, ear-shattering Cut Mondre Rave Party. I’m currently sitting in my car, dressed in my shiny club shirt and leather pants, talking to myself in the rearview mirror about whether or not I should go. The keys are in the ignition and my parents are fast asleep, so it’s all systems go. And there are plenty of great reasons to attend: the turnovers are a constant, and they’re significant. They’re also coming on plays you see run, completely turnover free, 45-50 times a week across the NFL. It’s not like he has been the victim of some ball-hawking safety or linebacker who spends his offseason at Gleason’s Gym working on his punching. Mondre will make like one cut, someone will go to tackle him, and then the ball is on the ground. It has been happening consistently for several seasons now and I don’t know if it’s fixable at this point. But Stevenson is the best pass blocker this team has. He can still make plays, and when he’s not costing this team wins he’s directly contributing to securing them. So I think I’ll sit here in my car a little while longer trying to figure out whether I want to go to the party. Just know that I’m dressed to kill and in the mood to get after it.
6. Usually, when a player is listed as out with...
