Acme Packing Company
Woof. So, when you lose an unexpected game to a team like Cleveland, just how bad does it hurt you? Was it a weird one-off as is common in the NFL, or a harbinger of things to come? Well….
For your old-timey power rankings, there are plenty of options to choose from around the old internet, or you can just ask ChatGPT which will tell you that the Vikings rebounded because of Pete Wentz falling out of the end zone, probably. Everyone has a Power Ranking. People LOVE Power Rankings! But over here in analytical nerd land we’re trying something a little different. This is the futuristic neural net version of power rankings, and we’re using our best cyber-neurons to generate neurotically objective power rankings. Since power rankings are all about arguing about why they rankings are wrong, I’ve decided it’s disappointing to be subjectively wrong like everyone else. If we’re going to be wrong, we’re going to be objectively wrong. And so, in the spirit of being objectively wrong we have created C.A.L.C.U.L.A.T.O.R., the Comprehensive Analysis of League Competition Using Latest Analytics To Organize Rankings.
What goes into Calculator? Basically, every advanced stat I have available, in addition to data based on net point differential, and the current Super Bowl odds from our friends at FanDuel. I run some formulas to smooth everything out, create a unified scale, and here we go! We had quite a bit of movement this week, but we’re starting to get a clear view of the haves (Buffalo) and the have-nots (the Titans are “Titaning” their grip on last place).
1. Buffalo Bills: CALCULATOR Score: 124.24, Change from last week: 9.75 – The Bills actually trail the Packers in DVOA, and their defense has been iffy, but they have the best Super Bowl odds in the league, and a schedule that seemingly gets easier every week. Above all else, they have the MVP favorite, and a good quarterback goes a long way.
2. Green Bay Packers: 107.35, -15.28 – The Packers took a tumble and sit quite a ways below the Bills, but they’re still pretty high mostly because the Ravens got blasted by the Lions (see below and also see below). I think the bottom line with Green Bay is that even though they played terribly, and certainly deserved to lose, they still probably should have won the game in spite of everything. Now, the offensive line is REALLY banged up with six players appearing on the injury report this week, and that could absolutely be a long term issues, but only the Bills and Ravens have better Super Bowl odds, so bettors do not see this as a long term issue, and given that they play the Cowboys this week, owners of the league’s 26th ranked pass rush win rate, it’s likely not even a short term problem.
3. Baltimore Ravens: 103.89, -21.64 – The Ravens seem to do this every year, at least recently. They’ll play pretty well, especially when judged...
