Acme Packing Company
Man oh man are we good. I mean, you don’t really need power rankings to understand that the Green Bay Packers are good, but it can’t hurt. So, let’s get into it.
For your old-timey power rankings, there are plenty of options to choose from around the old internet, or you can just ask ChatGPT which will tell you that Denver’s passing game was bad because of ebonix, probably. Everyone has a Power Ranking. People LOVE Power Rankings! But over here in analytical nerd land we’re trying something a little different. This is the futuristic cyber version of power rankings, and we’re using our best cyber technology to generate cyberly objective power rankings. Since power rankings are all about arguing about why they rankings are wrong, I’ve decided it’s disappointing to be subjectively wrong like everyone else. If we’re going to be wrong, we’re going to be objectively wrong. And so, in the spirit of being objectively wrong we have created C.A.L.C.U.L.A.T.O.R., the Comprehensive Analysis of League Competition Using Latest Analytics To Organize Rankings.
What goes into Calculator? Basically, every advanced stat I have available, in addition to data based on net point differential, and the current Super Bowl odds from our friends at FanDuel. I run some formulas to smooth everything out, create a unified scale, and here we go! You can see the preseason rankings (and last year’s rankings) here. As a reminder, it’s only week one and our information is pretty limited. Even if you aggregate a bunch of small sample size data, it’s still small sample size data! However, the benefit of Calculator is that it knows enough to not declare the Colts the best team in football.
We are a little stripped down this week because of a few work/family issues, but we’ll still put the numbers out there with a few pieces of commentary. The Packers improved, as you would expect, but they were actually surpassed for the top spot by the Ravens. This should not be viewed as a slight, and more than anything, it’s simply true that the Packers and Ravens are both excellent, and if they played each other (which will happen late in the season) it would be awesome.
The three biggest fallers of the week were the Commanders (due to losing to the Packers), the Vikings, and the Bears, so who could ask for anything more on the front. The biggest risers were the Lions, who re-established themselves as a force after pummeling the Bears. The only major faller near the top is the Eagles, who haven’t really looked like themselves yet, while on the bottom end, the Giants made substantial gains, while the Patriots climbed into the mid-tier:
