Acme Packing Company
OK Boomer.
With the draft approaching quickly, it’s the time of year when we get the famous/infamous Bob McGinn anonymous scout slander-fest, in which old men give their unvarnished opinions on the young men about to embark on their NFL careers after reaching the absolute pinnacle of the college game. Unvarnished opinions like, “The mom is a problem” about Missouri receiver Luther Burden. How is Luther Burden’s mom a problem exactly? We’ll never know for sure, but this is hardly the only character assassination in McGinn’s piece. Of top receiver prospect Tet McMillan, one scout wrote:
“He’s a really immature kid. He’s a poster child for this NIL shit. They kiss his ass to get him to stay and then they do what they want.”
This is the kind of behind-the-scenes tidbit that only a seasoned, cigar-chomping boomer who didn’t appreciate the Super Bowl half time show, and also isn’t entirely sure who was in the Super Bowl halftime show in the first place, can provide.
As a rule of thumb, everyone should understand that when a person is giving you their opinion, that opinion generally provides greater insight into the nature of the person giving it than it does on the actual topic in question, and at this point McGinn’s scouts are really and truly ancient cliches, coming back to the same, tired points. They also don’t actually seem to understand young people, or football. They make the same mistakes year after year, they’re sloppy, and they have almost no rigor to their opinions. And of course, many are tarnished by certain societal factors that really, really cloud their judgement.
For example, in this year's wide receiver column, one anonymous scout wrote the following on TCU’s Jack Bech:
“He’s got a big radius and he goes and gets the ball. He’s aggressive. He’s physical. Looked like the (Alec) Pierce kid that plays for the Colts. I liked him better than Pierce coming out.”
While a different anonymous scout wrote, literally one sentence later:
“Reminds me of Cooper Kupp,” said a third scout. “He’s quick as can be. His routes, he just knows exactly where he’s going. Has good feet and body control. He can make plays when he’s outside, too.”
Hoo boy. I mean…OK, let’s start with this. Here’s a picture of Jack Bech, Cooper Kupp, and Alec Pierce.
I’ll bet you’re all glad you had some heavily tapped-in anonymous scouts to tell you why these guys are all similar. Who else but a highly trained scout, or your inebriated uncle at the Thanksgiving table, could have possibly provided us with such valuable, actionable intelligence?
There is so much wrong with this, but the biggest single thing is that you won’t find two players more dissimilar than Cooper Kupp and Alec Pierce!
You cannot be like both of these guys! It’s impossible! Alec Pierce is a big (6-3), athletic (9.84 RAS, 4.41 40), deep threat who plays almost exclusively outside. Cooper Kupp is a smaller (6-1, 204), shiftier player...
