Cincy Jungle
The Cincinnati Bengals aren’t a good football team.
Good teams find ways to beat other good teams. The Bengals can beat up on bad ones — we saw that on Sunday in Miami — but that’s about the ceiling. Considering the Bengals finish the season with home games against the Cardinals and Browns, it’s not hard to imagine a small winning streak to close things out.
The question is: Riding that winning streak into what, exactly?
Winning out would leave the Bengals with a 7–10 record in 2025. The Cowboys finished 7–10 in 2024 and landed the No. 12 overall pick, which they used on Alabama guard Tyler Booker. The year before that, Bo Nix went No. 12. The year before that, it was Jahmyr Gibbs.
That doesn’t mean the Bengals would pick 12th, or that they’d use that pick on someone who could immediately help. In fact, they’ve moved away from that approach almost entirely. We’re only just now seeing the early returns on Myles Murphy, a 2023 first-round pick. That’s not how winning teams operate.
So what else does 7–10 get you?
Another year of Al Golden, Duke Tobin, and Zac Taylor.
To be fair, it’s just as likely that the trio sticks around even if the Bengals lose out and finish 5–12. But winning out practically guarantees it.
What will Golden, Tobin, and Taylor give Bengals fans in 2026 and beyond? We won’t know until we get there —but statistically, it’s more of what we’ve seen the last three seasons.
That’s football-shaped poop, if you were curious.
Yes, it was fun watching Joe Burrow, Ja’Marr Chase, Tee Higgins, Chase Brown, and the most expensive offense in the NFL bully a team so bad they recently demoted their former No. 5 overall pick to emergency third quarterback. But it doesn’t do anything for the franchise. If anything, it further handcuffs the Bengals to Taylor longer than they should be.
Again, he’s not going anywhere, regardless, but this is how the front office will justify a decision they’ve already made.
I don’t need a crystal ball to see the future. Mike Brown and the Blackburns are painfully predictable.
I hope they prove me wrong.
Nobody would eat crow with a bigger smile on their face than me if they do.
All that said, winning is still more fun than losing. I’m not rooting for the Bengals to lose. I am saying we shouldn’t be surprised when no meaningful changes are made—and the way the season ended becomes the justification.
Edit: My wife said this was too dark for a win, and I need to add some good since the Bengals embarrassed the Dolphins on the road, and winning on the road is hard.
So here’s a compliment sandwich:
-The defense looked the best they have all season, and I’m happy they didn’t allow Ewers, who was making his first start, to beat up the secondary.
-They need to be better at stopping the run.
-I’m always down to see...
