Cincy Jungle
If your feelings get easily hurt by people saying negative things about the Cincinnati Bengals, stop reading now.
If Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn and the rest of The Family don’t make some changes, the people of Hamilton County, who just voted to fund over $200 million for upgrades in Paycor Stadium, should file a class-action lawsuit siting fraud and mental anguish. Fraud because the Bengals aren’t keeping up their end of the deal, or even making it look like they’re trying to. Mental anguish, for obvious reasons.
“Have you watched Cincinnati Bengals football? You may be entitled to compensation.”
You were warned.
What do the Bengals have in common with the Baltimore Ravens and the Pittsburgh Steelers? Not much. Both of those franchises have won Super Bowls. They finish with winning records far more often than not, and—most importantly—they generally uphold their end of the franchise–fan agreement: they do everything possible, in their opinions, to give themselves the best chance to win a Super Bowl.
Will either of them win it this year? Probably not.
Now, what do the Bengals have in common with the Browns?
A lot more than they do with any historically successful franchise.
It’s painfully clear, based on the last few years, that the Bengals largely lucked into the postseason success they enjoyed in 2021 and 2022. Those runs were the byproduct of having the best quarterback–wide receiver trio in the league on rookie contracts. They hit on a couple of drafts and had two solid years of free-agent signings.
Since then? The roster has stagnated.
They paid their “big three,” but they structured those contracts in a way that makes little sense in the modern NFL. Most teams play chess with the salary cap—using void years and creative structures to soften massive cap hits and keep the window open.
The Bengals play checkers.
Actually, that’s generous. They play tic-tac-toe—the game parents teach toddlers on the back of children’s menus. They haven’t even graduated to checkers yet.
The reality is the Bengals were effectively eliminated when they lost in Buffalo. They needed too much help, and too many things had to go right to host a playoff game with a losing record. I can forgive that loss, frustrating as it was. The Bills are a good team, they were at home, and they’re playing for something real.
What’s much harder to forgive is the effort on Sunday against the Ravens.
When a loss officially eliminated them, the Bengals were shut out at home by a subpar Ravens team that isn’t going anywhere if it sneaks into the playoffs. This team simply cannot put it all together. When they win, it’s because one side of the ball bails out the other. When they lose, it’s because one side completely lets them down.
This time it was the offense. Next time it’ll probably be the defense. Either way, complimentary football is not something this team is capable of right now.
Zac Taylor said after the game that he...
