Behind the Steel Curtain
In our final installment before the Final Round of Five, who will be our last contestant to advance?
The Steelers are in desperate need of a new franchise quarterback. In the weeks leading up to the 2025 college football season, we’ll be examining some of the top college quarterbacks eligible for the 2026 draft. However, we’re going to have some fun along the way. All responses from the “players” in this article are fictitious and stem from my own analysis, which is why some of the answers will offer analysis you would never hear a media-trained quarterback say. If you complain about this feature in the comments, just know that you’re a lint-licker.
If you’re looking for further explanation/context for this series, read our past entries, including:
“Welcome to the Steelers QB Dating Game! Anddddd here’s your host, Steely McBeam!”
Steely McBeam: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen of Steelers Nation. We’ve had a lot of fun this summer, haven’t we? We’re not at the end just yet, but things are starting to crystallize in our competition. In last week’s poll, Garrett Nussmeier ran away with the competition, securing the victory and the second-most votes of the entire competition so far to become our fourth finalist. Today we introduce our final three contestants, one of whom will advance to the Final Round of Five. Let’s meet our contestants!
Our first contestant would certainly be worth the number one pick if we were judging solely off of his prototypical frame. Listed at 6’5 and 235 pounds, this passer has a rocket arm, more functional mobility than you might first assume, and is hard to bring down for a sack. On paper, there is a lot to like. He plays in one of college football's biggest and most competitive conferences. He’s led his team to the college football playoffs semifinals. Growing up in Ohio, he was given a five-star ranking by 247Sports, and was their top-ranked quarterback and third overall prospect in the 2022 recruiting class. He’s featured on several watchlists for conference and national awards. When laid out like that, it’s a pretty impressive resume... and yet this passer returned to school after receiving feedback from the NFL’s College Advisory Committee, a board that gives players a projection on whether they will be drafted in the first round, second round, or neither. Observant readers will by now realize which three passers are left to appear in this series and recognize this signal caller will be playing in the Steelers’ backyard, just under a three-hour drive away. Let’s have a round of applause for the Local!
Steely McBeam: This tall drink of water grew up in Miami, Florida, and has since taken his talents...
