Behind the Steel Curtain
We’re back with another thrilling episode. Which of these three contestants will advance to the final Round of 5?
The Steelers are in desperate need of a new franchise quarterback. In the weeks leading up to the 2025 college football season, we’ll be examining some of the top college quarterbacks eligible for the 2026 draft. However, we’re going to have some fun along the way. All responses from the “players” in this article are fictitious and stem from my own analysis, which is why some of the answers will offer analysis you would never hear a media-trained quarterback say. If you complain about this feature in the comments, just know that you’re a lint-licker.
If you’re looking for further explanation/context for this series, read our past entries, including:
“Welcome to the Steelers QB Dating Game! Anddddd here’s your host, Steely McBeam!”
Steely McBeam: Welcome back for another episode of the Steelers QB Dating Game! Last week, we saw Mr. Lonestar, Cade Klubnik, advance to the final round with 66% of the vote. Who will advance to the final round this week? Let’s meet our contestants!
Steely McBeam: If our first contestant decides to declare after this season, he would undoubtedly be the talk of the NFL Combine. Standing at 6’3 and weighing 242 pounds, this Clark Kent grew up in the backyard of the Gamecocks instead of the Jayhawks. Like his namesake, he struck a relatively low profile, despite leading his team to a state title during his senior season and attending high-profile quarterback camps. 247Sports only had him as the 34th-ranked quarterback in his class, a three-star recruit. After redshirting in 2023, he was named the starter as a 19-year-old in 2024. Let’s give it up for Superman!
Steely McBeam: A smooth operator that would be any Shanahan-tree coach’s dream, our next contestant hails from West Linn, a suburb of Portland, Oregon. A dual-threat listed at 6’2 and 200 pounds, he too led his team to a state title in his senior season. Ranked the 18th-best quarterback nationally, he transferred following a freshman season where he played sparingly. After winning a quarterback competition at his new school, he and the offense continued to improve as the season went along, flipping a program that went 3-9 in 2023 into a competitive 11-3 playoff participant. A round of applause, please, for Mr. Cool!
Steely McBeam: Our final contestant gets his name from a famed rollercoaster, and for good reason. His 2024 was a wild ride to watch, filled with dazzling throws and stupefying lows in equal measure. Some of the lows can be attributed to playing behind PFF’s 120th-ranked pass blocking unit, but our contestant’s story is much like a rollercoaster. A linebacker and wide receiver during his youth football years, he transitioned to quarterback in high school and bounced between schools in Hawaii and the Las Vegas...
