Bleeding Green Nation
100% accurate ranking of all 32 teams.
Now that Week 3 of the 2024 NFL season is in the books, it’s time for an incredibly meaningful and serious exercise: NFL Power Rankings! What differentiates these rankings from all the others is that they’re THE only truly accurate ones in the entire universe. We use a proprietary system that heavily accounts for vibes. Let’s take a look at how all 32 teams stack up.
1 - Kansas City Chiefs (Last Week: 1) - Once again, the Chiefs aren’t winning pretty ... but they’re winning. And it’s pretty hard to count on that stopping as long as Patrick Mahomes is standing.
2 - Buffalo Bills (LW: 3) - Josh Allen has produced nine total touchdowns to just one giveaway so far. He’s the NFL MVP through three games.
3 - Detroit Lions (LW: 5) - The Lions rebounded from a blip on the radar loss to Tampa. And they did it with style by scoring one of their touchdowns on a designed hook-and-ladder play.
4 - Minnesota Vikings (LW: 12) - The Vikings crushed the G-Men in New Jersey, edged out the Niners at home, and then obliterated Houston. They seem to be much better than anyone could’ve possibly expected. Brian Flores’ defense is allowing just 10 points per game so far. It feels like Sam Darnold has to come back down to Earth eventually ... but maybe he’s just Minny’s new Case Keenum. And by that I mean he’ll look good this season before returning to worse form next year.
5 - Houston Texans (LW: 2) - Pretty surprising to see them not even look competitive against the Vikings. Maybe they got a little too high on their own supply. They’ll probably bounce back.
6 - Philadelphia Eagles (LW: 10) - Outgaining the hottest team in the NFL by 231 yards, the Eagles should’ve been able to win by more than just three points. This team could be really good if they can just stop with the self-inflicted wounds. Saquon Barkley is looking unstoppable and Jalen Carter may have turned the corner after an uninspiring first two games.
7 - Green Bay Packers (LW: 7) - The Packers have been able to get by with Malik Willis. It looks like Jordan Love might be ready to return this week. Will be very interesting to see how this Packers vs. Vikings game goes.
8 - New Orleans Saints (LW: 4) - The Saints’ offense looked unstoppable in their first two games before looking incredibly stoppable in Week 3. Probably safe to say the reality of their offense lies between those two extremes.
9 - Baltimore Ravens (LW: 8) - Derrick Henry can still play; the Ravens’ rushing attack is formidable. Despite this, Baltimore did almost manage to blow a big lead to drop to 0-3.
10 - New York Jets (LW: 14) - Aaron Rodgers looks like Aaron Rodgers again.
11 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers...
